May 1st is a hard day for me.
A day that changed the course of my life forever. In a very painful way. The details aren't crucial. We all have days that mark particular events in our life that make us smile when we think back on them; and others that fill us with great sadness or deep regret.
A few years ago I got the notion to do something special, out of the ordinary, for myself on this day. Scripture promises that when we fill our minds with pure and righteous thoughts, impure, harmful ones find little real estate available. I wondered if the same principal would apply to my sad day. But what exactly was the purpose, really?
To celebrate? No, not exactly.
To forget? Hardly.
To be somehow magically transformed, never to feel hurt by this again? Oh how I wish.
Well, if none of the above, then what?
The word honor comes to mind, but I'm not sure if I can even begin to explain myself. I decided to carve out this day with meaningful activities all designed to honor who I am- who God has made me to be. We all have scars, and some of us, wounds that have yet even begun to seal over. We're all a mess. Every single one of us. And we all have purpose, value, excellence, worth. Today will always mark a painful day- a painful time in my life- but I wanted to replace that pain with something else. Something better. It was like God spoke into my jumbled, quivering heart and gave me permission to remake the day. To claim it as a new day, a chance for new beginnings, new traditions maybe. A chance for grace to prevail.
So it was with all this in mind that I determined to make this a special day for me.
One year, I had a glorious facial. Another, a pedicure. Lunch out, a long hike...you get the idea.
Truth be told, I watched my special day come and go last year without doing a single thing. And the year before that, same thing.
It wasn't for lack of thought; it was that old, familiar lie that I let talk me out of it.
You really aren't that special, so you really shouldn't bother pretending otherwise.
Today, I fell for it again. But I was restless, a little agitated, and unsettled because I recognized the Truth.
God's Truth. I am special. I am worth transforming a painful day into an honoring, life-affirming day. And so are you. He wants to do that for you, too. Don't fall for the lies.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
The king is enthralled by your beauty...
Psalm 43:11a
What would your day of honor look like?
My day turned around quickly this morning with an unplanned-for hike through the woods with Ryder. Wedge flip-flops and pouring rain didn't even stop me. And it was exactly what I needed. My outlook suddenly brightened despite the cold and wet. I know I have so much to be thankful for, so much goodness in my life. I did honor myself today, in everything I baked, read, sewed, cleaned, created, and simply cherished. It felt good.
It will feel even better when I go get that facial tomorrow.
This is much of my day in pictures, so I will always remember. It will bore you to tears, or leave you drooling all over your keyboard. Don't say I didn't warn you.
A day that changed the course of my life forever. In a very painful way. The details aren't crucial. We all have days that mark particular events in our life that make us smile when we think back on them; and others that fill us with great sadness or deep regret.
A few years ago I got the notion to do something special, out of the ordinary, for myself on this day. Scripture promises that when we fill our minds with pure and righteous thoughts, impure, harmful ones find little real estate available. I wondered if the same principal would apply to my sad day. But what exactly was the purpose, really?
To celebrate? No, not exactly.
To forget? Hardly.
To be somehow magically transformed, never to feel hurt by this again? Oh how I wish.
Well, if none of the above, then what?
The word honor comes to mind, but I'm not sure if I can even begin to explain myself. I decided to carve out this day with meaningful activities all designed to honor who I am- who God has made me to be. We all have scars, and some of us, wounds that have yet even begun to seal over. We're all a mess. Every single one of us. And we all have purpose, value, excellence, worth. Today will always mark a painful day- a painful time in my life- but I wanted to replace that pain with something else. Something better. It was like God spoke into my jumbled, quivering heart and gave me permission to remake the day. To claim it as a new day, a chance for new beginnings, new traditions maybe. A chance for grace to prevail.
So it was with all this in mind that I determined to make this a special day for me.
One year, I had a glorious facial. Another, a pedicure. Lunch out, a long hike...you get the idea.
Truth be told, I watched my special day come and go last year without doing a single thing. And the year before that, same thing.
It wasn't for lack of thought; it was that old, familiar lie that I let talk me out of it.
You really aren't that special, so you really shouldn't bother pretending otherwise.
Today, I fell for it again. But I was restless, a little agitated, and unsettled because I recognized the Truth.
God's Truth. I am special. I am worth transforming a painful day into an honoring, life-affirming day. And so are you. He wants to do that for you, too. Don't fall for the lies.
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
The king is enthralled by your beauty...
Psalm 43:11a
What would your day of honor look like?
My day turned around quickly this morning with an unplanned-for hike through the woods with Ryder. Wedge flip-flops and pouring rain didn't even stop me. And it was exactly what I needed. My outlook suddenly brightened despite the cold and wet. I know I have so much to be thankful for, so much goodness in my life. I did honor myself today, in everything I baked, read, sewed, cleaned, created, and simply cherished. It felt good.
It will feel even better when I go get that facial tomorrow.
This is much of my day in pictures, so I will always remember. It will bore you to tears, or leave you drooling all over your keyboard. Don't say I didn't warn you.
first bouquets from the yard...that have to sleep in the bathroom with the door closed because of plant-hungry kitties
first attempt at homemade laundry powder...
...fluffy, fresh-smelling towels from said powder =)
chocolate chip residue on cute lips
love this book, but it's been really tough...someone please tell my family that Mamas should have bubbles that don't have princesses on the bottle...
Mr. Sneaky is not allowed in the basement, but we let him...until he ate all the cat litter stuff and popped a beach ball- he had fun while it lasted. And someone is thrilled that she can wear a nightie with pajama pants to bed. Simple joys.
Sharing my thoughts over At The Picket Fence today.
5 comments:
What a great idea, to reclaim a painful day in your history, and choose to turn it into something amazing and happy. Looks like you had a beautiful day! =)
Kristen
Thank you I was listening to the lies but I don't really hear them anymore.
RaNae
Bethany,
I'm glad you were able to turn your bad day around. It seems like when I really stop and think about it, my bad days really aren't that bad when I consider all that I have to be grateful for.
I'm visiting from the Picket Fence linky party. I would love if you stopped by my blog.
Thanks for sharing,
Laura
I love this, Bethany. I need to remember that verse too. Thanks for being so honest and sharing this - you really encouraged me!
I love the idea of honoring yourself. I have finally taken time to love who I am and spend some time on me this year and oh, what a difference! I hope that you are finding grace truly prevailing through the process. Never ever think that you are not worth it. You are worth every bit of God's love and the love of the people around you every.single.day.
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