Remembering Those Happy Days Preparing for Levi

I find myself constantly thinking back to what I was doing two years ago as we waited for Levi's arrival. It was such an incredibly happy time. And I was - and am- so thankful that God would give us such a precious gift. So I thought it would be fun to take a look back on what life looked like then as we prepared to meet our brand new baby boy. :)

Maybe one day I will feel called to share more, but for now, please know that my pregnancy with Levi was absolutely one of the most miraculous and humbling and amazing experiences of my life. I had terrible, difficult pregnancies with tons of complications with the three boys, and that was after an ectopic pregnancy that landed me in the ER and nearly cost me my life when I was 23. Doctors warned us that I may never be able to conceive and carry a baby, with or without intervention, but thankfully this was not the case for us. And if you've been reading here a while, then you know our adoption process with Isabelle was one of the most agonizing experiences we have ever gone through, and then we endured several failed adoptions that broke our hearts between 2011 and 2014.

So when we found out we were expecting little Levi, we were so completely in awe that God would give us this miracle after everything we'd gone through. (I was also terrified, but I will write a separate post about how I tried to deal with that overwhelming fear.) For the first time, I had no complications, and I LOVED being pregnant, which was completely new to me. I had terrible morning sickness and migraines well into the third trimester, but it truly seemed like such a small, trivial issue in light of the bigger picture. I knew I didn't want to take any of it for granted, and I don't think I did.

We made it official with this announcement to the world in early October. Which was a joke...because in real life, I'd popped out in the beginning of September. Oops. ;)

I was cleaning out Ethan's closet in our old house and happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...whoa!!! I was maaaaybe 10 weeks there? WHOA. I look annoyed, but I was ecstatic about the whole thing. Promise. We'd also begun house hunting around this time, and it was kind of awkward because I was still so sick and would need to get to the bathroom ASAP at times, in front of realtors. Fun times. And we hadn't told anyone outside of family yet, so trying to hide that bump was, well, you get the idea. ha ha

Sometimes I forget that we spent a few years homeschooling. In many ways, I miss it.  And in many ways, I do not.

 Study break!!

 
Apple picking and pigging out on goodies :) Such a wonderful day exploring and having fun with them!

Birthday roses :)

And to be clear, that is a pillow under the plate.

The night our team won the state title. SUCH a fantastic night!!!

I very clearly remember thinking that I could never hold my hands around the bump in a cute way like every other expectant Mama...I blame it on my disproportionately short arms, haha

Fall Sports Night with these two soccer stars. Ethan received the Coach's Award that night! So proud of his hard work!

Bill and I found out that we were expecting a BOY!!! I was thrilled! I had had several girl dreams by this point, so I was a little surprised, and then we had to go back for additional testing which was scary, but everything was fine and he was healthy and growing perfectly. So thankful! We also decided to keep our big news a secret for a few more weeks, and it was such a happy time for us as a couple sharing this big ol' secret. :)

I had a special date night with Isabelle to tell her our secret- I had several reasons for doing this, and it was such a wonderful time. Then WE surprised her big brothers with the news! I wrote about that in this post.

We were preparing to move to another town, but we enrolled the kids, so there was a LOT of driving back and forth for a few weeks. Every morning ended with Caleb and me, killing forty five minutes before his day began. Sometimes we'd take a walk, other times grab a treat. Such special memories for me. There were also several pull-over moments for poor old Mom, ugh, and Caleb clearly remembers those mornings, ha ha!

Also, you know what's super fun when you're six months pregnant? Moving.

We celebrated our December birthdays and then we moved the next weekend, and then it was Christmas and New Year's. Whew!

 Somewhere around the end of January, I decided I was only wearing Spring colors. So over winter.

Getting organized!!! All those teeny tiny baby clothes!! I couldn't get enough. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I was so, so thankful for it all.

We took our big trip to Florida! I was excited about two things:
1- going to the beach
2- just slipping on flip flops!!!!! Heaven!!!! We still had snow up north...

I've shared these a thousand times, but I can't help it. They are so special to me! You can read all about our Florida trips here and here if you'd like.

More nesting!!! I still have that giraffe and elephant onesie. :)

Oops, that should have been above...I remember sitting on the couch in the early morning after the loooong drive home from FL, finishing this baby quilt. It was freezing cold that morning, but the sun was streaming through the windows and I felt so happy. He still sleeps with this every single night and day.

Jonah's 15th birthday! Exactly one month before my due date!

We had the best day!

 This shirt makes me so nostalgic. I almost kept it. Almost. Still 4 weeks to go!!!

I took big sis out for a girl's day and we got haircuts and milkshakes. So fun!

Later that day...you know, documenting :)

Whoa! ha ha

We finally pulled the trigger and purchased this set. I LOVED it! Well, I loved how it looked. It was not at all comfortable for me. Boo. When we learned what a terrible sleeper Levi was, we sold this set and purchased... a recliner chair. Not what I wanted in the least BUT you can lay back and hold a baby all night. True story. Happened a lottttt. Anyway, I was thrilled every time I walked into our room and saw this corner.

My Mom and friends threw me a sweet baby shower. You can see more pictures HERE.

 More waiting...

Filling this top out as much as it can go!!

This little nook of our room made me soooooo happy! (Lots of people have had questions about setting up a nursery in the master, so I shared more about that HERE.)

More waiting. I actually loved this dress. It was still too cold to wear it out, but I remember wearing it around the house a ton.

And my favorite striped tee. That's a whole lotta stretch right there. :)

And here we are, still joking and laughing and SO excited to meet our little guy! Things looked pretty great at this point...

Okay, so I ended up adding way more photos than I thought I would, but I just couldn't help it. I love remembering that time in my life! I'll be back tomorrow with Part Two. It's so fun sharing these special moments with you guys, thanks for reading. :)

Mom Fail

Good morning! We have survived the blizzard and even have a delayed opening today to boot! I'm linking up with Shay and Erika today for How We...  can't wait to read them all!

I've been a Mom for over eighteen years now so believe me when I tell you, I have more than my fair share of Mom Fails under my belt. Don't worry, you'll get there, too. ha ha ha ha ;)

I'm going to limit myself to just this one today because I mentioned it on IG recently so it's fresh in my mind.

It was a super sticky hot summer day, and we were at the beach. Which obviously is right where you want to be on such a day. We were having a really good time...until someone left the cooler cover open and the birds attacked our food, ha!...well, I guess I'm laughing way more NOW than I was at the time, because four little hungry people become four over-the-top hungry whiny people real quick.

Still, we chased the birds away, had more fun, and after several hours it was time to go home. Now at this particular beach, once you leave the hard-packed sand, the trek through the shifting and super HOT sand is absolutely treacherous. Just torture. So we go as fast as we possibly can to make it to the boardwalk area and the bath house. And this is the place where things come unglued real fast.

Poor Isabelle. She started to lose it. First she lost a flip flop in the rough sand, but didn't tell me, and then she started crying about how hot her foot was. I didn't realize she didn't have her shoe, so when I figured that out, we had to go back for it. And you know the only thing that's worse about a torturous walk out of the beach? Yup. Having to go BACK and retrace your steps. Ugh. Plus, she had decided to keep falling to the ground and dragging herself through said hot sand, which not only made her such a mess, but I'm sure it didn't feel very good either! So she was hollering all about that, and I was already getting "looks" from passersby.

So we finally made it to the bathrooms and changing rooms, and we are both sandy and sweaty and MAD. The boys were waiting there AND rolling their eyes at us, because boys. And they were already done. Again, because boys. So I was rushing on top of everything else, and we all know nothing good comes of that either. I must add here that a HUGE group of people had just arrived, and lots of them were now in the bath house. I had never seen it that crazy full before, so that upped my stress level considerably because crowds and I are not too simpatico if you catch my drift.

Poor, poor Isabelle. She was near hysterics but she was actually doing her best to keep it together because she knew I was going to lose it. I was not gentle or patient or any of the things that I want to be, and she had sensed that she better just roll with it. Which actually breaks my heart a little now. Doesn't that sound so sad?

So we got changed in a mad dash and I grabbed her hand and literally pulled her through the entire rest of the room and to the parking lot, where the boys now were. There had been SO many people running around and bumping into people, I was terrified of losing her in a crowd. In hindsight, why didn't I just pick her up? Was I carrying something else so I couldn't have? Was she too heavy for me to carry? I'll never know. Dumb hindsight, ha!

We arrive at the van, and Ethan gives me this weird look and says, "Why isn't she wearing her dress?"

I fully remember being so confused by his question, like, "Why would you ask something like that?" kind of puzzled. And annoyed, because it was NOT the time for jokes, so I almost yelled at him, too.

So I finally look back at her for the first time since mad-dashing out of there and see it: my poor little girl was standing there in her little Dora underpants, and nothing else, with tears streaming down her face. Obviously I thought I had pulled her dress on over her but it was clutched in my other hand in a death grip. I was so distracted and panicky (I hated the idea of leaving the boys unattended for any longer than absolutely necessary, so that's a part of it) that I didn't even realize I never put her dress on her before marching her out of there.

Lesson learned: I never left another bathroom/changing room without making sure she was wearing clothes again!

And she forgave me. Though this incident gets brought up more frequently than I'd have imagined, by her AND Ethan, ha ha ha!

This is the kind of mess that I was trying to deal with in a stinky, overly crowded, postage stamp sized bathroom stall...and also not have to touch anything! Do I sound defensive???  ;)

And I'm just throwing this in because it makes me so happy :)

Mamas, this feels like YESTERDAY and forever ago all at the same time...and now Ethan is heading off to college this year! Make the most of your time!

**added later**
I couldn't leave off a photo of just my four babies when we have FIVE babies...and as I was searching I came across this- one of my very favorites!!!!

Okay, here is my tribe of five! :)

Favorite Pictures of All Time

Want to know the first word that comes to mind when asked to select your top five pictures?

Torture.

Panic comes in at a close second. ;)

I want to include them all! From my time living in Spain to all my kids' baby pictures to our wedding to our time in Guatemala adopting Isabelle to our surprise baby's birth...one year ago next week! Cue ALL the tears.

I'm determined not to "cheat" so here are my top five in no particular order. :)

I remember this day so clearly, and it was one of the best. We were spending the afternoon at one of favorite farms the summer after we returned from Guatemala after adopting Isabelle, and suddenly the kids just started rolling down the hills, laughing and laughing all the way down. I don't even know exactly how this pig pile originated, but I'm so glad I captured it.

I look at this now and see a little bit of Levi in each of those three gorgeous little boy faces. I had these fellas all in a time span of 3 years and four months, after losing our first babies and nearly losing my life with an abdominal ectopic pregnancy. Several doctors discouraged us from even trying to conceive because of the heightened risks, and when I see this beautiful portrait, I can't help but be reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness in my life.

At the beach, of course. Caleb was really little and racing his bright yellow dump truck all over the sand around us, the other two boys were jumping over the waves, and we were hopeful to be bringing our Isabelle home soon. (That did not happen, and it would be another year+ before we were reunited and then home.)

I love this picture and our smiling faces here, but I also desire to be transparent. Of course no marriage is perfect, and ours in no exception. We've endured many hardships, both before this photo as well as after, and this picture to me is such a beautiful symbol and testimony of God's redemptive grace.

Oh this picture.

It means the absolute world to me.

Isabelle and I were living in Guatemala on our own at this point, after saying goodbye to both Ethan and Jonah two months prior, and then to Caleb about three weeks before this was taken.

It was hard being away from them. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

But we made the most of our situation - we lived life to the fullest while waiting on governments and embassies and such, so that we'd have no regrets about that after returning home. And I don't! :)

 My best friend there, also an American adoptive Mama, snapped this photo before church one morning and it has been a favorite ever since.

You can read about our adoption by clicking on the label in the sidebar. And the picture of Isabelle on the sidebar, which is a favorite for sure!, tells another part of our adoption journey.

 This is my first picture with all five of my children in it with me. Bill took it last Mother's Day after church, when we had little Levi dedicated. This was after lunch when everybody had changed, but the look of sheer joy on everyone's faces is what makes me love this so. Levi was one month and three days old here, and we were already so smitten with him.

Plus, this was before "the shed" and I was having such a great hair day. Yes, I remember those things. :)

 Okay, so I'm cheating, but only by one.

How can I not include this sweet thing?

I still can't believe that he's turning one next week! I'm not ready!

 I'm linking up with Andrea today and have loved seeing everyone's favorite photos so far!