I think I lost my cool more than once today. I hate it when my heart starts pounding and I get all rattled and annoyed, and instead of going off to be alone and quiet, I give in to the desire to yell at one of the kids or roll my eyes or do some other unkind thing. It stinks. The aftermath never feels better; it only feels worse.
After moments like those, I wonder how on earth I am going to survive with five children! Is God playing some kind of cruel joke on me?
I'm just rethinking the events of the past few days...
Kid gets in the way and has head slammed by closing trunk and proceeds to fling himself flat on his back on the sandy parking lot, just laying there like a big lump (no, he had not passed out).
Twenty minutes earlier, same kid got pegged in the head with a tiny pebble and screamed bloody murder.
Someone got a new privilege of staying up a bit later and decided to reward the privileg-er (me!) by fumbling around the next morning before six, thereby waking up the other someone in his room. Grrrr.....
"Can we help?" turns into flour flying across the floor, dish detergent getting squirted on the ceiling, dishes being cracked, flowers trampled, vehicles scratched and dinged.
The way their voices all find that one tone that drives you so insane you can hardly see straight.
Arguments. Really dumb arguments at that. They make a girl want to run far, far away and hide her little self.
Insert long, loud sigh here.
But then there are those moments when I see a big brother tenderly dancing with his baby sister.
Or a chore taken over by another willing child who simply wants to be kind.
Working together on some grand adventure or project.
A smile, a hug, or a pat on the back.
A thank-you.
Those moments fill me with gratitude and hope that all is not lost, that we're raising siblings who love each other, and that there is indeed room in our hearts for more.
If only there was a mute button I could push every so often.... :)
Here are some favorite pictures from our week:
this picture cracks me up big time! how could you ever be cross with that face!?!?
tossing Pop-It things on the drive after dinner...they are LOUD!
excitedly working together to catch fish (they did!)
our Junior Rangers at the cook-out & awards ceremony this afternoon
this doesn't really need a caption, does it? ha ha
It was funny how nearly every day this week at the lake the storm clouds would come rolling in, we'd hear a few rumbles of thunder, maybe a couple flashes of lightning, and then, it was all over- the gorgeous blue skies returned and all was well. I guess I didn't really see the parallel to life until I just wrote out all that stuff above.
Still wish I had that mute button, though. Maybe just for emergencies.
1 comment:
I know I've said this before, but I find your honesty so comforting. My son had a sleepover last night and all three kids got along so great. He wasn't even out of the driveway before my two started fighting and it just sent me over the edge because it was stupid stuff. "I want to play alone" and then all the antagonizing comments that followed. I just don't have the patience for all that. It's so unnecessary. And then they reset and are playing fine after lunch. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done and you are a better person than I. As much as I'd like to have a girl, I can't imagine having three children since I sometimes can't handle myself with two.
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