humbled

**updated**

We just got home from a rather quick trip to the grocery store.

Isabelle kept saying her "tummy ache hurts" and I know better than to push my luck during flu season.

Thankfully, we made it home unscathed.  Whew.

So...imagine my delight in noticing that the counter looks all wet as I'm about to put a bag of groceries down, then my feet are soaking wet and slipping all over the floor, the recipe I left out is unrecognizable, CD's all drowning...and I see the vase miraculously settled in the chair and the flowers scattered everywhere.

Cats.

Not so adorable now.

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Where to start first...
I'm having some serious issues people.
For whatever reason, this year I am having the hardest time getting myself motivated for the holidays.  I'm completely overwhelmed, spent, tired, drained.  I'm not ready, for any of it.  It's coming too quickly.  Life, in general, is going by too quickly.

I have made The Worst Lunches Ever for the boys this week.  I was just at the grocery store on Friday, but there's already nothing in the house.  Might as well have sent them in with a bag of marshmallows and a liter of Mountain Dew.  Okay, so I don't actually have those two items, but you get the idea.

Bill helped me (when I say helped, I mean fixed by himself while I was editing on my laptop) make some changes to the blog to get the spacing the way I like it.  I like it.  But I'll probably change it in a month.  Sometimes I think I change things too much.  I've tried to stop but I can't help it.  And while I'm thinking of blog stuff, I'm still ticked that my pictures don't upload the way they used to.  Grrr.

But there has also been laughter and silliness and fun things.  Things that have made me smile.
Like silly boys drinking hot cocoa, and adorable kitties, and smoochy-faced little girls.

And just a day earlier, we were enjoying a lovely picnic in the warm sunshine...

Making cupcakes to celebrate the boys' fabulous report cards!  Honestly, grades are secondary to us- we care more about them being respectful and kind and excited about learning things.  So proud of them!  Other fun stuff.

 

Then of course I started playing around with the settings on my camera and couldn't take any pictures I liked.  None!  I didn't give up, and finally something clicked, ha ha.

I have a feeling these pictures are not going to look the way they look as I write this once I post.  Anyhoo, can you see the difference?  I'll spare you the mountain of dark, dark pics of the forest.
It was such a beautiful cold morning- I've decided I need to get outside more in the mornings instead of being lazy and or working.
I threw that last pic in there because I love the turkey leg hanging over the edge.

Bill just called.  Car issues.  This is a very sore subject.  Long story, not for today.  But he made it safely to work, so that's good.  I hope he can make it safely home, because that would be, well, not good.

I forced myself to go to bed before midnight for the first time in almost a week.  Not a big deal for most I would imagine, but when you're up between 4:30 and 5, it makes me grumpy.  The extra sleep made me feel so much better.  I was cheerful when the boys came down for their breakfast shift.

Yesterday I began cleaning out some of the piles we relocated downstairs when we lost the storage space in the office, and I couldn't help but bring up just a couple of Christmas things.  Candles mostly.  They smell deliriously good.

I was fiddling with the settings again and was able to finally capture the look I wanted in the dark- this is great because I've got two birthdays coming up soon soon soon and I've been trying to perfect the glowing cake birthday picture!
Then I discover another flower from the bouquet Bill got me has been victimized by the cats.  Every morning there's a new casualty.
Note the two flowers in the other vase.  Is it always something, even if it's a little something? ? ?

Poor Ethan had been telling us for weeks how much he wanted a school spirit tee shirt or sweatshirt, and was going to pay for at least half, and I totally spaced it and missed the deadline.  This isn't the first thing I've missed like this recently.  Well, I felt bad enough that I lugged Isabelle over to his school after our cleaning fit and ordered him a shirt with his name on it.  He was mad at me when he left in the morning, but he was acting fine yesterday afternoon.  I didn't tell him what I did.  :)
He also needed the next level clarinet book and had been telling me that for weeks as well.  We got that too.  That's it- send your Mother of the Year Awards to me this year.

And poor Caleb has a bump or something on his big toe.  It has caused tears this week, so it can't be ignored any longer- I was wishing it away.  It hasn't gone away.
He sees the doctor this afternoon.
During my only free time this week.
Sigh.  I know I'm being selfish.

I did go shopping this weekend, which I don't particularly enjoy- I'm not a shopper.  It's part of my frustration lately- when you re-do one room, then something else comes up, and another thing, and it never ends!  I'm not good at this kind of thing, though maybe I had deluded myself into thinking I was for years.  I panic, worry about making mistakes and wasting money.  So both rooms are quasi-finished. 
Now that the new furniture is here, I cannot enjoy it because I'm so worried about the cats clawing it or the kids doing something to it.  I hate that part.  Maybe once the newness wears off a bit, I can relax more.
A little.
We needed plates badly- ours were bridal shower gifts- standard, nothing fancy or earth-shattering-, and they are missing quite a few pieces now.  I don't know how many sets I have bought this past year only to change my mind and return them in a few days.
I don't want expensive because I would cry every time something got cracked or broken.  But I don't want cheap either.  Kohl's had a sale.  They're pretty.

I like plain white.
Ha, the santa mug holding those awesome straws is making me smile.
That photo of the chocolate-y dessert we call Brownie Volcano (like a molten cake) is making me hungry.  I should share the recipe with you....another day.
Isabelle and I have to get ready to go grocery shopping since I will inevitably have to feed someone here later.

I think I'll just say a little prayer first.