I've been thinking a lot about how my little girl sees me, or more specifically, if I am someone that she will esteem to be like when she is grown. She's older now, newly ten, and I know she takes in everything I do, the good, the bad and everything in between. It's been humbling, to tell you the truth. I've had to contemplate the way I react to people and situations, especially when things aren't going my way; how I care- or don't- for those around me: do I happily offer help to someone in need or do I grumble and complain about being inconvenienced? Do I feel purposeful or resentful in all that I'm called to do?
And not to open a big ol' can of worms here, but I also wonder if she likes what she sees when looks at me. The first three months of my postpartum journey were great, but the still-sleepless nights have caught up with me, and that coupled with winter doldrums, has me in quite a state. I'm eating junk, too. No bueno. So I wonder: does my daughter see me exhibit self control or act like a victim of circumstance? Does she see me taking the time to savor and enjoy good things, or am I too frazzled/rushed/preoccupied to do so?
So my goals for 2017 look a little different than ones from previous years. Rather than cutting out this or stopping that, I'm looking to live more fully, more present and aware. I want my daughter to be inspired by my choices...maybe now is not the right time to mention that at this very moment she is throwing a colossal fit over being told to take a shower tonight instead of tomorrow- who knows?...I want her to see someone who loves life and actively pursues it with all she's got. I plan on saying Yes! to more coffee dates with friends, although they just might have to be at my house instead. That's okay. I need to say Yes! to adventure and fun, Yes! to time spent reading and studying God's Word, Yes! to bending the rules every now again. I will say Yes! to extending grace and to loving people right where they are, Yes! to healthy choices that fuel, invigorate and recharge me. Life is meant to be lived well. So I've started by adding some of these things to my planner, just as I would an appointment for one of the kids. I pray when I wash dishes and fold laundry, so basically, for hours, ha ha.And I'm going to commit to writing out my dreams and prayers in a journal so I can see how God answers, and He does answer.
I realize that perhaps none of this makes sense to anyone but me. And that's okay, too. Here's to a beautiful start to 2017.
I'm joining in with Shay and Erika for Workin' It Wednesday. Thanks, ladies! I'd love to read your goals for 2017 so leave me a comment or a link to yours. xo